And my first P365 is complete…
13,705 blog views to date…
367 pictures, technically…
1 full year of my life…
And my first P365 is complete.
And the main feeling I’m left with is…
….Jeez, that was quick!!
I thought for a long time what my LAST picture should be, and you can bet I tossed around a multitude of options. All I knew was that it had to MEAN something. I was less interested in the sheer WOW factor, and more the symbolic nature… And it wasn’t until earlier this week that finally decided what it would be.
I would go back to where it all began.
This morning at 5:32am, the exact moment of the sunrise (according to CBS News 3), I was back at the original scene of the crime. For my final shot, I chose the same point of view as my very first picture… (very full circle of me, no?)
When I shot that first picture, the sun was setting on my 26th year of existence and I was giddy with excitement at the prospect of starting this journey. Would I be able to actually take a picture EVERY SINGLE DAY and then blog about it?? Could I let myself be that vulnerable and allow the universe to look inside my life? Would anyone even read it?! And perhaps most importantly, would my pictures even be any good?
And now, 365 days later, the place my project began exactly one year ago was the place I chose to end it.
Well, actually… also to begin it again…
I am choosing to continue my photo-a-day project, if only for ridiculously selfish reasons.
I have loved being able to look back on each day of the past year, and know exactly what I did that day. Pick a picture, any picture, and I can tell you where I was when I took it, who I was with, how I was feeling, and (I think in every case, although I haven’t actually tried this) tell you something else that happened that day. It is an amazing thing to be able to do.
It is has been awfully helpful in remembering the little things and hey – if I ever need an excuse for a crime I didn’t commit, what an awesome alibi.
But more importantly, it forced me to do something for my SELF every single day, appreciate the little things, and of course, find something beautiful in each and EVERY day. It was a project in self-reflection and awareness, psychology and sociology, and perhaps most importantly, in choice.
There is a series of YouTube videos that friends and I have become mildly obsessed with. They take Shakespearean plays in which the woman is victimized, martyerized, and pathetic-ized (word?) and shows how the ending would have been markedly different if she had a “sassy gay friend” to show her the light.
My personal favorite is the one about Romeo and Juliet, and the line that resonates most, (although quickly delivered and is really the set up for a better line) is:
“Look at your life; look at your choices.”
Food for thought, right?
Really though. How many of us actually take the time every day or even just every once in a while to really look at our lives and look at the choices we’ve made… Honestly, more and more I am convinced that the answer to the eternal question “what is life?” is: Life is a choice.
Life is one big CHOICE…it really is as simple and as complicated as that.
Getting out of bed in the morning is a choice. Brushing your teeth is a choice. Every move you make is a choice.
365 days ago, I chose to take a picture everyday for the next year.
You, for better or worse, chose to read it. (My apologies.)
This year, I chose a lot of things…
I chose to go back to my roots, literally. I chose a few wild nights out and many quiet nights in. I chose to spend a lot of money on clothes and shoes (a lot). I chose to move. I chose my family over everything else (and always will). I chose not to settle. I chose who to keep in my life, and who to cut free. And perhaps most significantly, I chose to bring a little tiny being into my life. On November 7, 2009, my life was changed by my choosing to rescue a stinky, smelly, little puppy. In hindsight, was it the BEST time in my life to get a dog? Absolultey not. Do I regret it? Not even a little bit. 100%, I truly believe that getting a dog has helped me create balance in my life. I have to. I can’t work myself to death. I can’t have 16-18 hour days anymore… I have an adorable 4 legged creature depending on me. And I can’t even believe how much love I choose to have for my Baby Boa.
Yes, even Love is a choice.
Just as you can choose to dance, chose to make yourself available, choose right, choose wrong, choose to lead or choose to follow, choose to be a martyr, or choose to suck it up and just do it…. You choose to succumb to the feeling. Or you can choose to fight it. Fighting it sometimes is the easiest choice… to protect yourself, protect your sanity, protect your soul… And as much as it hurts, you can also choose to let go…
A good friend told me that 28 will be “my year”, that good things happen during “even” years.
Well universe, I’m choosing to believe her.
Here’s to MY 28th, and many many more.
In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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